One of the missing pieces in relations and interactions betwixt the opposite sex. This piece is simply called...
"The Cool"
.....or the balance of personality traits. A even tempered, level headed demeanor. Not too much, nor not enough. "The Cool" is really what pulls people in. You give enough to make someone want to learn more about you, but not enough to turn them away. They seem interesting enough..intriguing actually. But the one thing that really sticks with you is, "Damn..they cool as shit".
Assertive, not yet aggressive. Passionate, not yet nonchalant or fanatical. Protective, not yet overbearing or timid. Affectionate, not too crowding, or too distant. Intelligent, but not condescending nor totally ignorant..and often willing to learn or to enlighten others. Funny, but not too dry, but not a constant comedian to where someone is totally incapable of taking you seriously. Usually keeps an open mind, sure of themself...not afraid to let you know when you're getting outta pocket, but keeps it cool. Knows when to turn off the funny/asshole/whatever personality trait and get serious or vice versa.
Someone may consider this "swag", but you can have "swag", but still be a bitch/bitch ass nigga..an idiot..a pussywillow ass person.. a total and complete asshole....or plain annoying. The swag is what you see on the outside..someone's "spokesperson" so to speak. It's possible to have no swag at all, but possess "The Cool". "The Cool" is something that can't be taught, bought, nor sold. Although, your own personal cool can grow and evolve.
".....I'm cool like that...."
1) Bragging about your personal effects, your personal accomplishments, who you know, where you're going, where you've been, and how independent you are does not make one cool. If it's all authentic diction, then great! But it appears as if you're trying to hard to make people like you. But if you can only attract people to you SOLELY because the aforementioned, then my friend you are not cool. Let your accomplishments speak for yourself. Feel free to make mention of these things, but don't let that be your calling card. Don't be the person when you open your mouth, people are rolling their eyes in anticipation of what BS you shall spew forth next. The more you talk about it, the more it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself.
1a) Chill the fuck out. You're loud in the club...or everywhere you go. Stay geeked up. Either you're looking for a fight, always cracking jokes about EVERYTHING, or wanting to be center of attention. On the reverse, you stay with a stank look your face...unapproachable....r
"....Cool it now..."
-nobody likes the person who is so forward or aggressive in their approach that it totally turns someone off. Men, please do not approach a woman you want to talk to, chill with, or simply want to smash with "waddup sexy...how yo thick ass doing? damn you got a fat ass...blah blah blah" or whatever sexual thought you have that you possibly think is a compliment. There's a fine line between flirting of the sexual nature and just being plain perv. If you just want the draws, be cool in your approach. You must learn when you can cross that boundary. After you tell us something, especially when it was unwarranted and it comes totally out of left field, what do you want them to say? Women...men like the thrill of the chase. If you are surrendering your goodies, be demure in your defeat LOL. Even if you genuinely like a person, compliments don't hurt; they are welcomed. However, don't let half your conversation with the person of interest be you wearing your heart on your sleeve. The other person is seriously checking to see if you have a backbone of some sort. The Urkel like declarations of love..not cool. Everyone appreciates honesty, but you gotta know when to hold them and know when to fold them.
(Sidebar: I find it totally hilarious that Ralphy T's "Sensitivity" is playing right now)
"...take off your cool...."
-You're digging someone. The feeling is most definitely mutual. But, you're guarded, so you keep a TOO cool demeanor which hinders you from being honest about how you feel. You don't have to tear down your walls in a day...just brick by brick. Never think that you have to play defense at all times just to keep the upper hand. People choose not to express feelings because they want to keep the pendulum of power swinging in their direction. That is the first indication of future problems in relationships. It starts off with the incapability of not wanting to express feelings, but it turns into more later on..but the fact remains its will be a constant power struggle.
"...The Cool Jerk..."
-Everyone has a bit of asshole in them. So not a problem. But, to be the one that has to have a negative comment on EVERYTHING when it's really not warranted....yea you suck for that. If someone says it's a lovely day outside, why be known as that abortion gone wrong of an asshole to come and rain on their happy day? People can have their opinions but it's totally obvious when you're being a dick just because you woke up that morning.
".....I wanna thank you girl..for the chill in you...especially for you being so cool..."
-women don't think this only applies to men. When we're turned all the way up, or shut all the way down, men tend to tune us out. You can feel some kinda way about anything you want to, but keep your composure with it. Let him watch his sports, have his extracurricular activities without you, or having to seek your (unneeded) approval or challenging him at every moment. Learning how to stand down will eventually get you your way in the long run.
....just chill.....relax...........
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