*An Oldie but goodie* My Open letter to bitter bitches

Dear Bitter Bitch and Co.,


Fuck what you heard. The phrase "Niggas ain't shit" is not a truth, but a mantra of some sorts to keep you Bitter Bitches grounded your twisted reality. It's something you say, day in and day out, to keep you complacent in your lonely lives. You and the rest of your Bitter Bitch Brigade will sit around and have Bitter Bitch Brigade Boy Bashing Bonanzas, and will repeat this mantra numerous of times. But the more you speak it, the less and less you see the need to improve yourselves. You BB give yourselves away with the scowls you wear. The cattiness towards other women. The blatant disrespect of men, even when he's not interested in you. The lack of home training (more rat than BB) you exude when you are rude to everyone. You want to blame men for your bitterness...But we soon forget....





Behind every 'Ain't Shit Nigga', is an 'Ain't Shit Bitch'.






You can't have a Barack Obama type man with a Whitney Houston Mentality.




As much as EYE HATE the term " I'm a real woman/man", I will agree with REAL RECOGNIZE REAL and if your so-called "real" hasn't been seen AND/OR appreciated, welp it's time to stop selling yourself dreams and buy a huge stock in the shit we like to call REAL MUTHAFUCKIN LIFE. There are so called "Real Women" encouraging ASN (Ain't Shit Nigga) behavior, knowing in their heart of hearts they are continuing the cycle of ASNs, but will use emotional reasoning over logic. Where is your breasticular fortitude?! What makes YOU a real woman? We're all real because we eat, sleep, breathe, and shit. But what makes you so real? A "REAL" woman wouldn't rant and rave about ASNs, because first of all, those types of men are NOT her focus, and secondly, her thought process would be evolving on how to steer clear of those types. A REAL woman would learn from her mistakes, take the loss, and keep it moving AND reach back and give another young girl the game.

You ever been going off on a guy and telling him what he AIN'T and instead of what he IS and he begins to tune you out? Apply that on a larger scale. For the most part, men will tune you out. OF LIFE. Why would a man gravitate towards a woman who believes that he isn't equal to her bowel movements? And after a while, the more you tell him this, the more he will exhibit these behaviors. Men do not respond well your shrill banshee shrieks of anger and resentment. Regardless of what you have, what you look like, what you earned....men do not entertain the negative bullshit. "You know what they say about those that sweat themselves...you might find yourself...by yourself..."


I write this because I have been a BB. I have said niggas ain't shit, but not realizing I had an ASB (Ain't Shit Bitch) mentality and carrying out ASB actions. So everything that has been done to me was not deserved, but in the natural order of things so to speak. I had a conversation with a friend last night about a piece they wrote and we had differing opinions on why there are ASBs. And in that conversation, they put majority of the blame on men for the existence of ASBs. For women to say they are strong and powerful creatures, why the FUCK are you giving up your power as a woman? For anyone to say that men are to blame for BBs (Bitter Bitches), is basically saying "well a man did this to me and I'm too weak to pick up the pieces of my life and think for myself, so he created this Succubus you see before you."

Fuck outta here with all that.

For every action, there is a reaction. But as free thinking animals, we have CHOICES. And most of you are making choices to ASSIST these men ASN behavior. You knew what he was about when you met him. You knew what he was about when you opened your mouth and spread your legs. And even if you didn't know what he was about, because I will say there are men that are well advanced in their craft of bedding women and can adapt quicker than the average bear, men will give themselves away without saying a damn thing. If a man can run over you, why would he leave a good thing? If you are not woman enough to step away, why should he respect you? Yes he may TELL you what you WANT to HEAR, but does he SHOW you what you NEED to SEE?

For instance, I was dating a guy last year. To the naked eye, he's a good catch. Tall, handsome, well put together, a career, a home, only 1 child, well spoken and articulate, a laid back easy going type of guy. When I met him and got to talking to him, all those attributes are what got me caught up. In the beginning, he was great. Had food waiting for me when I got to his house. If I went to work from his house in the mornings, he made breakfast..he even packed a lunch for me. Very attentive. Slowly but surely, the facade began to crack. Now I understand he has a son and that's always first priority, but he began to make plans with me, but then wouldn't call me for a day or so, but when he called, he would act like shit was all good and then claim it always had something to do with his son..Best excuse to use because he knew I wouldn't question that. Or when he said he would call me back and he didn't, he'd have the AUDACITY to be mad @ me because I didn't call him. He began telling little white lies. He got caught in a HUGE lie, but tried to turn the situation around on me and get into my head and make ME feel bad for busting him out. Now, to the simple bitch, all the good points I made about him would have overshadowed the ASN behaviors he's displaying. This man even told me he wanted me to have his daughter (mind you this is only after a couple of months of dating), but didn't think that I would make a good mother, and he would have the child with him and he'd raise her to be a daddy's girl. To the silly broad, that would have been oh so cute. But after realizing I hardly know this man and this man basically called me an unfit egg and uterus donor, I cut off all sexual contact. I stopped becoming as available as I once was. I don't want kids right now, let alone by HIM. He took notice. He called me with that sob story, "I miss you...I need some p*ssy baby...blahblahblah yaddayaddayadda". Then later on, he had the nerve to say that I'm gonna end up lonely because I don't play my part as a woman, I'm letting a good man get away, that there's plenty of women trying to be with him and I should learn to submit (to him a good man was him going to work and taking care of his son...nigga I'm not about to lick your balls over some shit you SUPPOSED to do). To this I replied, 'I have no problem submitting but I haven't met a man that's worth it". After he picked his face off the ground, we commenced to arguing some more, and that was that. He was not the man for me. He still calls and tries to get back in, but he tore his draws with me. His great points are not enough for me to forsake my reproductive organs.

Have I made bad decisions with men? Sure the fuck have. Will I continue to do so? Probably so. My situation in life isn't perfect. My judgment hasn't always mirrored my words. But the difference between me then and me now, is that I had to learn to accept fault and be accountable in my part of the cycle, no matter how much the truth hurts. But I can look in the mirror and say that I'm generally pleased with the decisions I make at this point in time. Please explain to me why a man has to raise his attempts to court you when you lower your standards? Women don't realize the power we have. Men may be the natural leaders, but women have so much influence that it's RIDICULOUS. Enough influence that the leader of our free world was impeached and all it took was a stain on a dress.

I'm not letting men off scott free. I don't feel bad for men that will knowingly lay with a crazy broad raw because she LET him and didn't make the smart choice, but will wonder where this baby came from? Men should also be more selective on who they lay with as hell. Men make dumbassed decisions daily. But they acknowledge that shit. They will be honest enough to say, "Yes I did it. I wanted to do it. I'll probably do it again."
They won't blame the ASB for their decisions they make. That I can respect. Women will find a scapegoat until there are no more and she gotta find a BILLYGOAT gruff to excuse her behavior. Men are hunters.... A man will sniff out and play off your insecurities. It is not to the fault of men why you do what you do. Excuses are tools of the incompetent......(you finish the rest)

You ever wonder why that homely chick has a man and keeps a man? She's smart. She can use her womanly wiles. Not to TRAP him, but to keep him coming back for whatever it is she's doing. Most of all..SHE AIN'T BITTER. You may look @ her and say, "How the hell did she get pull anyone?" The man that she has may not be the man you'd choose, but she has something you don't. A MAN! And she's HAPPY. Trust and believe, a woman with superior good looks doesn't mean she'll be a good woman and a woman with "less than desirable" physical attributes doesn't mean she'll be a bad one. Your social status in life is not a lifetime guarantee for love. Men look for more than a cute face and a fat ass when looking for a girlfriend/long term commitment. Ever know a huge man whore to marry, but she wasn't the most beautiful chick in the bunch? Cute enough, but nowhere near the women you've seen him with? A man with common sense will see a good woman..and he'll change, or he'll leave her and will get back with that when he's ready to settle down. It is survival of the fittest. Those that are fit, in a mans' eyes, for long term relationships and marriage will come out on top.... "Women choose who they want to have sex with but men choose who they marry." Chew on that for a spell....

I heard a girl tell another girl she shouldn't talk to a certain guy because he doesn't have swag. Now, if swag is a definite requirement for a man to be able to court you, can you blame him for treating you like shit? If all he needs to do is look a certain way to get a chance, why should he do more than the bare minimum? Have any of you ever written down your requirements of a potential partner and then PRIORITIZED THEM? Maybe therein lies the problem...

So, long story short, there is no one party that is more to blame than the other. Men and women are equally accountable for the discord between the sexes. As women raise their standards, men follow suit. One issue is directly or indirectly linked to and dependent on the other. But before you lay blame on who smudged the windows, please make sure your hands are clean. You BBs aren't as innocent as you'd like to believe.

Signed,

An irritated woman.

....this is for the cool in you.....

You've seen them. The guy that may not be the best looking, or may not be the best dressed. He may not have the most money, the best car...your regular average Joe. But he keeps a chick. A chick that you may say to yourself, "how the fuck did he pull that?!" and makes you second guess yourself. Provided that this is a healthy relationship, there's really a simple reason why these average cats pull above average women. A factor that is missing from a lot of people these days.

One of the missing pieces in relations and interactions betwixt the opposite sex. This piece is simply called...

"The Cool"

.....or the balance of personality traits. A even tempered, level headed demeanor. Not too much, nor not enough. "The Cool" is really what pulls people in. You give enough to make someone want to learn more about you, but not enough to turn them away. They seem interesting enough..intriguing actually. But the one thing that really sticks with you is, "Damn..they cool as shit".

Assertive, not yet aggressive. Passionate, not yet nonchalant or fanatical. Protective, not yet overbearing or timid. Affectionate, not too crowding, or too distant. Intelligent, but not condescending nor totally ignorant..and often willing to learn or to enlighten others. Funny, but not too dry, but not a constant comedian to where someone is totally incapable of taking you seriously. Usually keeps an open mind, sure of themself...not afraid to let you know when you're getting outta pocket, but keeps it cool. Knows when to turn off the funny/asshole/whatever personality trait and get serious or vice versa.

Someone may consider this "swag", but you can have "swag", but still be a bitch/bitch ass nigga..an idiot..a pussywillow ass person.. a total and complete asshole....or plain annoying. The swag is what you see on the outside..someone's "spokesperson" so to speak. It's possible to have no swag at all, but possess "The Cool". "The Cool" is something that can't be taught, bought, nor sold. Although, your own personal cool can grow and evolve.

".....I'm cool like that...."
1) Bragging about your personal effects, your personal accomplishments, who you know, where you're going, where you've been, and how independent you are does not make one cool. If it's all authentic diction, then great! But it appears as if you're trying to hard to make people like you. But if you can only attract people to you SOLELY because the aforementioned, then my friend you are not cool. Let your accomplishments speak for yourself. Feel free to make mention of these things, but don't let that be your calling card. Don't be the person when you open your mouth, people are rolling their eyes in anticipation of what BS you shall spew forth next. The more you talk about it, the more it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself.

1a) Chill the fuck out. You're loud in the club...or everywhere you go. Stay geeked up. Either you're looking for a fight, always cracking jokes about EVERYTHING, or wanting to be center of attention. On the reverse, you stay with a stank look your face...unapproachable....r

ude when approached...or just a Debbie Downer...just relax!


"....Cool it now..."
-nobody likes the person who is so forward or aggressive in their approach that it totally turns someone off. Men, please do not approach a woman you want to talk to, chill with, or simply want to smash with "waddup sexy...how yo thick ass doing? damn you got a fat ass...blah blah blah" or whatever sexual thought you have that you possibly think is a compliment. There's a fine line between flirting of the sexual nature and just being plain perv. If you just want the draws, be cool in your approach. You must learn when you can cross that boundary. After you tell us something, especially when it was unwarranted and it comes totally out of left field, what do you want them to say? Women...men like the thrill of the chase. If you are surrendering your goodies, be demure in your defeat LOL. Even if you genuinely like a person, compliments don't hurt; they are welcomed. However, don't let half your conversation with the person of interest be you wearing your heart on your sleeve. The other person is seriously checking to see if you have a backbone of some sort. The Urkel like declarations of love..not cool. Everyone appreciates honesty, but you gotta know when to hold them and know when to fold them.

(Sidebar: I find it totally hilarious that Ralphy T's "Sensitivity" is playing right now)

"...take off your cool...."
-You're digging someone. The feeling is most definitely mutual. But, you're guarded, so you keep a TOO cool demeanor which hinders you from being honest about how you feel. You don't have to tear down your walls in a day...just brick by brick. Never think that you have to play defense at all times just to keep the upper hand. People choose not to express feelings because they want to keep the pendulum of power swinging in their direction. That is the first indication of future problems in relationships. It starts off with the incapability of not wanting to express feelings, but it turns into more later on..but the fact remains its will be a constant power struggle.

"...The Cool Jerk..."
-Everyone has a bit of asshole in them. So not a problem. But, to be the one that has to have a negative comment on EVERYTHING when it's really not warranted....yea you suck for that. If someone says it's a lovely day outside, why be known as that abortion gone wrong of an asshole to come and rain on their happy day? People can have their opinions but it's totally obvious when you're being a dick just because you woke up that morning.

".....I wanna thank you girl..for the chill in you...especially for you being so cool..."
-women don't think this only applies to men. When we're turned all the way up, or shut all the way down, men tend to tune us out. You can feel some kinda way about anything you want to, but keep your composure with it. Let him watch his sports, have his extracurricular activities without you, or having to seek your (unneeded) approval or challenging him at every moment. Learning how to stand down will eventually get you your way in the long run.


....just chill.....relax............